These are the experiences I wish to make public, or I reserve the darker and more bizarre (and much more) stuff for my autobiography or biography (though there's a bit of the dark and bizarre here). I've briefly mentioned a few in my earlier entries; mostly over a year ago. From the beginning, they're in Diagnoses and Matrix Theory, and very perfunctorally, Oil Spills & Time Bubbles. (Obviously see the 2nd-previous entry about my recurring experience). Here are the remainder:
When I was 4 I was physically handled, lifted up above the heads of white (not gray that I remember) beings with big heads in my room in the middle of the night. There was a very bright green light that filled the room. The reason I remember it, that it was something more than a dream, was because of the extremely awestruck emotion of it - though not terror that I remember - along with the physical sensation of being picked up and carried.
When I was 10, shortly after we moved to San Antonio (from Bossier City, LA), in late '75 or early '76, I was walking in the woods with a (male) friend west of Hunt Lane; bordering the Rainbow Hills neighborhood on the southwest side of town. We'd gone deeper into the south Texas mesquite, cacti and other scrub and underbrush (with cow patties and chips in the open spaces) than we had the previous few times. It was said that, if farmer Hatcher (if that was his real name) caught you on his land, he'd shoot you with rock salt.
We climbed over a barbed wire fence that we assumed was the frontier of Hatcher-land, so the adrenaline was really rushing. Very soon after, I saw, about 50-70 feet in front of me, a blurry-in-memory figure of a (human-looking) man. I'm pretty sure he was wearing clothing that fit tightly to his body.
I then had my first and most dramatic missing time event. My last memory was, in my flight instinct, turning to the right. Next thing I knew I was running; but at a distance much closer to the Hunt Lane starting point. I/we made it over that fence and long trek distance with no memory of anything... I don't remember if my friend was with me or not when I walked home in a daze-trance. (The whole story of this I again reserve for the autobiography or biography).
The years between that experience and when I read (Whitley Strieber's) Communion, latter childhood and very early adulthood, were as typical, unspectacular as for the vast majority. I never gave such high concept as the nonhuman component of political-spiritual salvation anything resembling a life-or-self-defining thought. However, there was something I learned to do during the high school years that I would later realize was a meditation-calming technique. It was the forerunner of my eventual mental/telepathic connection with the unseen intelligence(s) that I mentioned in (the latter part of) Diagnoses:
When I had trouble falling asleep I played a "game" where I was very much required to calm my mind enough for the unseen beings to be able to check up on me (whatever that entailed). It was like I strongly believed in them; but only during the episodes of insomnia back then. It worked every time, I'd fall asleep.
In '86, 3 years after high school, and less than a year before moving to the greater western L.A. area, I was introduced to the (rather utopian for me at the time) concept of alternative energy by reading a most fascinating editorial by James Kilpatrick about Joe Newman's (electromagnetic/gyro) Energy Machine, and I saw him on Johnny Carson demonstrating his motor about the same time (June or July). It wouldn't be too long before the concepts of new energy and nonhumans would mesh.
I read Communion in February, '88 and, near its end, remembered my 2 childhood experiences. There was a part about an inventor being knocked unconscious in an unexplained way that made me think (probably erroneously) that it might have been about Newman... That was a little less than 2 months before I left L.A.; headed for Austin. I deliberately began the trip (first, briefly) back to Bossier City/Shreveport in April at night, hoping that I would see a UFO. Turns out I did see something, assuming it wasn't a hallucination or misinterpretation:
There was, somewhere east of Quartzsite, AZ on I-10 between 1 and 2am, a green light in the eastern sky that moved, I'm pretty sure, from my right to left. It was roughly-to-exactly the same color green as the light that flooded my room as a 4-year-old. I pointed in its direction with my right index finger and astonishedly uttered, "This is real." As I did that I felt a combination of euphoria and a sensation of leaving my body. Then the green light object or vision faded into the moon partially obscurred by clouds.
Once in Austin I was into the subject, that is, actually having unsuccesful or uneventful conversations with very few people, until sometime in '90, when I lost interest in the whole scene; preferring a more prosaic outlook again. Even after the previously-mentioned (in Experiences) experience of September, '91, sometime before mid-May '92 I was as hardcore skeptical-doubting as they come.
Then came May 17. I awoke that morning and remembered something that oddly just popped into my head. It was at the same time I noticed something very peculiar about the room where I was housesitting at a nearby neighbor's place. What I remembered was the promo for the (CBS) TV adaptation of Budd Hopkins' Intruders that proclaimed, "On May 17th you will believe." What I noticed was that the flimy-thin white curtain I'd drawn closed the night before (as it was all I dumbly thought I could do to block the light of the upstairs east-facing window) was parted wide open again in its original position.
May 19 was the second (conclusion) part of Intruders. I had my first big euphoria experience. It was during the part where the woman was taken aboard the craft and shown the hybrid babies in the goo-filled cannisters. I was standing and felt a substantial level of euphoria while a soothing-sexy female voice said, "These are batunu." (Emphasis on the 2nd syllable, and it might have been "patunu"). It was as though she was referring to the spacecraft babies on TV, but I'm certain enough that it wasn't part of the show's dialog. She, or the voice, repeated the word once, I'm pretty sure.
In and of itself that moment probably could have been whatever kind of brain glitch, but it was the clear prelude to what happened on June 1 or 2 (whichever was the late Saturday/early Sunday in '92). This was my first experience of the kind I mentioned in Diagnoses (September, '07) - a vividly mentally-transmitting connection with my higher, and apparently The Highest, power:
I was sitting on the back porch at my folks' place thinking, meditating. Wind, ahead of rain, was picking up. The most amazing ever thing happened at least 3 times: The climactic, epiphany-like instances of my mindflow were exactly in tandem with the bursts of wind and rain! (I've had a few or several such weather synchronizations since then). I stood up and took in the strengthening storm (which was actually a usual Austin weak/low yield one). I was watching a trickle of water run vertically down a screen window at the back of the covered-and-fenced porch. Then, as the water strand somehow lit up like a prism-rainbow, I felt an even stronger euphoria than the one 2 weeks earlier. The voice this time was on fast-forward; like a cassette. I heard it only in my right ear. I had the feeling she, he or it conveyed something soothing, reassuring.
Sometime in '98 the coloring of my palms changed. There's a very symmetrical redness that's visible on some days more than others. If it wasn't for the symmetry/sameness, I probably would've chalked it up to the result of an allergic reaction to amoxycillin I had in '92 or '93. Can't help picturing from time to time that graphic on The X-Files opening credits of the palm with the red area on the finger (though my pattern is below the fingers, or primarily). Oh well, the truth isn't as much "out there" as it is in the here and now.
My experience of February 7, '99 was the first one where it was apparent (to me) that a euphoric moment can (or can also) be used/caused by (very apparently) malevolent beings, and I've since questioned-pondered the motive and physics/chemistry behind everything palpably, physically euphoric I've experienced. I don't consider the worst to be true (without supporting evidence) automatically, though. Before I describe the event, a little background on the "Russian rush" is necessary:
In '96 or '97 I began to fantasize a lot about living in Russia. Those relatively optimistic days of Yeltsin (before his addled state became painfully obvious) fueled my desire, curiosity. And there was a guy at my workplace at the time who was (is?) a major Russophile. It wasn't too long before I noticed I was having a subtle enough but palpable euphoria whenever I thought about Russia, or that the euphoria was/is (somehow) associated with Russia; back then always with the context of rock and roll/pop or music in general. I could feel the "Russian rush" throughout my body. It went on periodically for around 2 years, yet to this day I can feel a trace of it occasionally.
Around 12:30 or 1:30am (Central North America Time) Feb. 7, '99 I was watching a docmentary on PBS about Siberia and lapsed into a daydream about living in Irkutsk (by the south end of the great and remarkably pristine Lake Baikal). I was suddenly overcome by an extra-tremendous euphoria - what I can safely surmise was a close enough (if not exact) equivalent of a heroin rush or overdose. (Obviously never tried the shit). Then, missing time:
My next memory was that I was in a trance; a robotic state of repeating something to the contrary of my Russian fantasy. I kept saying, "I will stay here (in Austin) and do my music." (The story of my at least thus-far-unsuccessful attempts at a career in music here is a long and weird one that I can't get into here). I then noticed the TV channel was changed to some ridiculous infomercial. I didn't have a remote control at the time and, as far as I know, never left my chair (recliner). Then I noticed my newspaper TV section was turned 90 degrees to the right of where it always was.
After I slept I looked into my desk drawer and saw that the master copy of the (classical and classically-influenced) instrumental demo CD I'd just made the previous month (that's now on the MySpace music page) also was turned 90 degrees to the right! There's no way that could've happened normally, as I was/am extra meticulous about the physical placement of my most important things (basically to the point of OCD). Someone simply invaded my space and fucked with my head/thoughts and physical stuff.
Telepathic connections aren't always with enlightened enough beings, though I definitely don't have enough to make any kind of morality-motive judgment on what happened on February 5, '00 - the anniversary of the previous event:
It was an attempt at a Saturday afternoon nap on the couch. Every time I was just drifting off to sleep, a loud pop would come from my ceiling or wall and jar me awake. (There was no one living above me at the time). It happened 4 or 5 times. The last time was a peculiar rattle-crunch sound that sounded impossible to have come from a carpeted floor directly above my head. (Have heard it very few times since and recently). Then, as I came as close to sleeping as I would that cold and overcast midday, something that hasn't happened before or since then occurred:
An electric or electric-like energy enveloped my face, and it felt like my chin was being pulled downward in a V-shaped face. I didn't move a muscle. Perhaps I should've reached and touched it, but I just lie there and experienced the sensation for about 10 minutes, I'd guess. It was the closest to a shapeshifting experience I've had (at least consciously). Beginning exactly a month later, things took a darker turn...
That, folks, is perhaps all that will be blogged (by me) on the matter, though I hope to have something of a true breakthrough entry posted soon. Only my 2 childhood experiences fit the classic/typical close encounters model.
People like me need and deserve to be heard; as mainstream common knowledge. Where applicable, people in general need to throw off their blinders, forsake their (largely ego-driven) ignorance, and embrace (as much as possible) the fact that Earth and human consciousness/knowledge changes are natural and already in progress. Evolution is stronger than devolution. The time has never been more ripe for a whopping helping of new (to us) knowledge. We need a culture of openness. If enough people could get the preliminary stuff like UFO sighting openness right (of which we're getting surprisingly much closer to right by the day lately), then we'll be ready for the deeper psychological-spiritual-intellectual realities of the next paradigm.