Army of Mars

Most unfortunately, a major segment of Kurt Vonnegut's The Sirens of Titan is too similar to my own situation. And the idea has been replayed in perhaps countless science fiction. A torture device is placed in someone's body - usually the head (as very apparently in my case) - that's controlled by another (evil) person or being. The Army of Mars in Titan had such devices in their heads. Without giving away too much, said Army wasn't as threatening a force as their name implies...

I have a mysterious infection based on my brain; with a localized pain there that hits me hardest on Saturdays. December 1 was the most intense it's ever been. Though the degree of head pain varies on Saturdays, that day is the one where I feel otherwise achy and nauseous (with a regular headache and a hard-to-describe "swimming"/dizzy effect) more than any other. This has been going on for most of this year - only on Saturdays (though a couple or so Sundays as well). I first noticed it in April or possibly March, and it hasn't happened every weekend; though easily more often than not. The startling regularity of it seems highly likely that there's some kind of intelligent control behind it. My intuition tells me there is.

I of course get flashes of head pain at other times. Sometimes it's when I have a plainly good, spiritually soothing thought. I've actually had pain for almost 3 years, though there have been a few long stretches of none. The medical history is a strange one:

Without getting into the specifics of the foul, cheesy-chemical infection taste and smell (and their locations in relation to the head pain), long story short, I visited a doctor in early April, '05 where I ended up insisting on getting a head CT scan. I practically had to mug him to get him to agree... The purported results of the scan was that nothing abnormal was found. I know that's either a gross mistake (as in malpractice) or, seemingly more likely, a lie.

I have effectively less than zero money now. My insurance doesn't cover CTs. Fuhgeddaboudit. The whole story is too long and complex to get into here, but I'm seriously considering getting a prescription for a strong antibiotic. However, the infection has been healing, burning itself off, or to whatever degree, for about the last year and a half. It's a bit of a Catch 22. No big hurry to make that decision...

Not that I'm a hypochondriac or being melodramatic, but if I'm to meet my demise as a result of the strange infection/head pain, I hope I will have proven my worth as a lover of peace, truth, love, justice, sanity and ecological action/resolution etc. I'm extremely against all forms of Martian (if you will) freakiness - all things martial or otherwise oppressive. I have a refreshing view on who actually qualifies as an armed defender of freedom (ADF).

In a sufficiently-enlightened civilization, only local law enforcement officers are ADFs. The only other conceivable group that would qualify would be a single military of a united human race that would (hopefully hypothetically) be fighting an alien invasion or threat. No other groups or armed persons qualify. Militaries as we know them are, as a whole, nothing more than racketeering punkass prison bitches. (I don't really use the b word, but found it an appropriate analogy in this case). They work for only whatever entirely self-serving mafia slave masters controlling them at the time. They commit only psychopathic/sociopathic atrocities like wars of aggression (Iraq for example). All hail the psycho Roman "god" of war (Mars). Hail Caesar!

I'm among the biggest lovers/admirers of WW2 veterans and KIAs. Though there appears to have been plenty of behind-the-scenes (sociopathic) manipulations concerning the war that pretty much no one yet knows about (therefore it apparently was essentially an illegitimate "enterprise"), WW2 vets involved in the cause of the end of a very dangerously fascist (Germany) and imperialist (Japan) regime had everything to do American freedoms as we know them today. Yet no American military action since then has had anything to do with American freedoms. Yes, I'm glad we were able to prevent South Korea from becoming one with the wacko North, but that was about their freedom, not ours.

When was the last time anyone heard of a successful revolution where the righteous (or at least more righteous) underdog defeated the tyrannical oppressors? (That means they didn't soon become another version of the same filth). The American Revolution comes to mind, though that's not saying it was the most recent one. Not remembering much history at the moment... Perhaps soon 1776 will be known as the start of the First American Revolution. Here's meditating that the Second one is a velvet coup... or at least as bloodless as possible.

Again, per the first entry, think forgiveness, clean slates, twisted programming (now), we know not what we do... And quit expecting perfection.